The Loneliest Days

The loneliest days are the days when we forget how much we are loved.

We lose hope when there is no one to share our grief.

We lose our purpose when there is no one to share our dreams.

There is no meaning when there is no one to share our joy.

The hugs of mama and papa.

The days my brothers and sisters took care of me in the hospital.

The friends who took care of me in the van while I cried from the pain.

The teacher who helped me get a scholarship.

The professor who gave me the courage to keep studying.

And the highlight of my life.

The night AJ slept on the floor of the charity ward at PGH so he could watch over me. Just to court me.

He stayed until I got better.

He stayed until I was no longer yellow.

He held my hand when papa passed away.

He promised to love me, and to never let go.

Different faces of love. Different kinds of love.

The joy we felt. The memories we will not let go.

I hope you give yourself time to log out from a world that always compares and always preens. The world that always whispers, “something is missing, you are not enough, you are alone.”

I have been there.

I know that feeling of opening your phone and forgetting in an instant every kind thing anyone has ever done for you.

I hope you do not forget the love you have experienced.

Why not go back to them to ease your sadness.

When I pray to the Lord, I cry. I ask sincerely for courage.

Because I know harder problems are coming.

There are illnesses that will not heal.

There are loved ones who will be lost.

There are mistakes that cannot be undone.

There is always heaviness we cannot escape.

That is just how it is. Only at night do the stars shine.

Without hardship and darkness, we do not see the beauty of real love.

When you have no reason left to keep going. When the day just passes and feels meaningless.

It means you have forgotten the beauty of the love you once received and are still receiving.

We forget easily.

So we must learn to fight for our joy.

Protect the joys you have from the past.

Continue to embrace the blessings that are arriving.

Hold on to what the Lord will give in the time to come.

I hope you remember and feel again the joy of the love you have experienced.

Even if brief or bitter, love is love.

You were loved and you are loved.

Why did I write this.

So you remember you were loved and you are loved.

And the love you are remembering right now is love that comes from the Lord.

The Lord gives true and deep love.

I do not know how I would continue a life this heavy without the love of God given to me through the people around me.

The hand of AJ on the PGH floor was not just AJ’s hand. It was the Lord reminding me, “I see you, daughter. You are not alone.”

The hugs of mama and papa were not just hugs. They were a small picture of a Father who never lets go.

This is what intimacy with God looks like for me. Not a feeling I create. A truth I trace backward through every face that ever loved me.

All the suffering of the world would have no meaning if we just die.

We are given suffering so we can see the true love of God through the people He places in our life.

Because this is not the end. The Lord has a beautiful promise waiting for us.

Christ Himself was the loneliest on the cross, forsaken so we would never have to be. That is why we can sit in our hardest nights and still say, “I am loved.”

Let me say it again.

The loneliest days are the days when we forget how much we are loved by the Lord and by the people around us.

We lose hope when there is no one to share our grief.

We lose our purpose when there is no one to share our dreams.

There is no meaning when there is no one to share our joy.

I know you have someone right now who loves you. We just do not always see it. We do not always appreciate it.

The same way we do not always see and appreciate the love of the Lord.

We cannot see the Lord.

So He gave us our loved ones to be with us.

I hope you take time to pause and re-center your love for the Lord and your love for the people who really matter in your life.

I needed more time to pause.

Thank you for understanding.

I will see you all next Monday.

- Lala