When Everything Is Not in the Plan

You are feeling right now that everything happening is not in the plan.

Finding clients is harder than you thought.

The client is a headache.

Learning the skill is harder than you thought.

Three things hit at once.

And here you are, sitting at your desk, wondering if you are cut out for this at all.

I have been there.

What I want to share today is this. You do not need to be perfect to be successful. And the reason I can say that is not because I have arrived. It is because God has not let me go, even in the rooms where I failed loudly.

Many of the best lessons in my freelancing career came from the worst clients.

I remember crying at my desk because a client was yelling at me. I had made a mistake on a campaign. We had spent a lot of money. The error escalated to higher management.

It was heartbreaking. I had a small trauma after that. Every time I clicked “Publish” on a campaign, I felt anxious and paranoid that I had made another mistake.

The voice in my head kept whispering, “You are not good enough for this work.”

I understand why you are sitting at your desk afraid right now. I felt it for a long time too.

But because my heart broke that day, the lesson truly stuck. Be careful whenever publishing campaigns.

I also became stronger. I developed the skill of staying focused when a client is frustrated or angry. I make sure I give them the best answer I can. I promise the solution as soon as possible.

Looking back, I see something I could not see while I was crying.

God was not punishing me through that client. He was forming me.

The fear of mistakes had quietly grown into an idol in my heart. I wanted clean work more than I wanted a faithful walk. I wanted to be untouchable. I wanted to be impressive. And the only way that idol could be cut down was for me to actually fail, and to discover that grace was still there on the other side of the failure.

That is what difficult clients did in me. They did not just teach me skill. They exposed the pride and the self-reliance underneath.

When you make a mistake, do not dwell too much. I know it cuts the heart. But we have to take the cut.

What matters is that we learn.

What matters is that we are not afraid to make mistakes, because our standing does not rest on our perfect record. It rests on Christ.

Sometimes, because we are so afraid to fail, we keep searching for kind and perfect clients. The truth is, our endurance is proven with the difficult ones. Our character is proven there. The character that does not give up easily.

The kind of character Scripture says is produced through suffering. Not around it. Through it.

Sorrowful things are spoken for the sake of joy.

The yelling client, the costly mistake, the anxious clicking of “Publish,” the long quiet of learning the skill again from the bottom. None of it was wasted. God uses painful work to form people who can be trusted with more, both in the craft and in the soul.

So if you are looking at your work tonight and asking whether you should keep going, hear this gently.

You are not the lie in your head.

You are not behind.

You are not finished.

You are still being made.

It is not about perfection. It is about direction.

And the direction is toward Christ, who does not break the bruised reed and does not snuff out the smoldering wick.

For the glory of God.

- Lala